Evasive Techniques
by C.Rara
Summary: Avoid alcohol. Avoid Fred. For the love of GOD, that's ALL I had to do. But NO, I decided in my state of severe inebraition to pour my vulnerable soul out to Casanova-Freddy one week before the Yule Ball. Real smart Ang. Merry Bloody Christmas.
1. Flashback

**Evasive Techniques**

(night before)

"_Ok" I slurred, finally abandoning all attempts of walking and allowing Fred's strong arms to wrap around my waist and pull me up the icy path. I giggled as I slipped over, again, and fell into him.  
"Christ, Angie" he said, shaking his head in disbelief. "How much did you drink? I've never seen you this pissed!"  
I scoffed loudly.  
"You've never seen me pissed full stop!" I __really__ should have stopped talking there. "You're too busy with that Lucy, or Linda or Louisa or....what's-her-name?"  
Fred was staring at me oddly. "Natalie?"  
"Tha's the one!" I yelled victoriously, raising my fist in triumph and nearly taking Fred's eye out. "Whoa. yeah. Miss open-24/7-motel legs. Ha-ha. Slag" I spat, bitterly and condemnatory, though the effect was somewhat ruined by my garbled speech and inability to remain upright._

-x-  


_See, this is exactly why I try never to drink. I can't control the words that stupidly fall off my tongue when it comes into contact with liquor. Stupid party. Stupid Hogshead serving me drinks even though I'm only 16. Oh no wait, I'm 17 now. My fault. Stupid Ang. Stupid.  
_

_-x-_

"_And it's not just her, is it, either? NO! Not one girl for 'Casanova-Freddy'. He's got ALL those girls. Lots of girls. Lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots. But never me. Not me."_

It was only at that point that I noticed we were no longer walking- "_**HEY!!!**__"I yelled furiously, in inebriated incoherency. The echo of my shout, reverberating around the isolated path that was shrouded by intense darkness, startled me greatly and I whirled around in alarm. Naturally, since Fred's arms were still around me, that caused a bit of a problem and I fell backwards into a tree, pulling him with me as I went._

"_Ooof" Fred's weight, crashing on top of me, winded me slightly, and I hit my head on the trunk of the blasted tree. To support himself, Fred had thrown his arms out and consequently was leaning over me, pressed up terrifyingly close._

I inhaled sharply, even in my horrifically drunken state I knew this was a dangerous situation for me to be in, and I had every intent of telling him to piss off and push him away. Unfortunately, my brain seemed to have melted on the spot and my mouth couldn't function, nor could my hands be prised away from my sides.  
Paralysed, I stood there panting –desperately trying to fill my lungs with the air they seemed to be lacking - and watched in fear as a smirk began to play across his lips. 

"_I didn't think you cared who I dated, Angel" he grinned. I couldn't be sure if it was intentional or not, but his arms shifted slightly and his body was suddenly at a much closer proximity than before. I bit my lip to stop myself from saying something irredeemably stupid._

"_Aaaangggeeeelliiiiiinaaa. You're not answering me. Please talk to me" I bit my lip even harder to prevent myself from giving into his pleas. At least it didn't hurt, my mouth had turned numb from the large quantity of alcohol it had received.  
A sober-me might have been able to deflect the awkwardness by saying 'there was no question asked to be answered' and marching off before anything else could be said. However, considering the magnitude of trouble I'd already landed myself in because of my stupidly huge gob, I was not going to risk saying any more crap. _

"_Fine, then Angel" he grinned, pure evil dripping off every syllable "I don't mind waiting." He shifted his weight again so that momentarily he was completely pushed up against me with no air between us and then pulled away, legs either side of mine, but not actually touching. "I actually happen to be incredibly comfortable."  
Involuntarily I hissed in frustration, which seemed to amuse him greatly. _

_I figured that he'd grow bored and leave, but 5 minutes later and I was still confined to the little space between the tree and his arms.  
"Why are you doing this?" I whined.  
"Because, poppet, you're drunk. And I find your drunken humiliation to be fascinating." That cheeky grin he shot me did nothing to ease the sound of my heart pounding like a drum in my ears. His eyes sparkled mischievously "Hey. You know there were others at the party. What are they gonna think when they walk up here and see this?" _

_My cheeks went quite warm and I moaned in annoyance "FRED!" Unfortunately, it was only afterwards that I realised how that sounded (admittedly quite lustful.)_

"_Yeah, that'll help, Angel" he winked impishly. _

"_Fred, __please__" I know. I know. Just as bad. I could have hit myself. But I wasn't thinking anything through until after it had already left my mouth. Stupid, stupid Ang!_

"_I think you're trying to turn me on, Fallen Angel" Fred grinned, and I glared at him and tried to shove him off. "Hey now" he continued "please don't stop on my account. I was enjoying myself."  
This time I really did shove him. Quite hard. And he laughed and moved his arms. _

_As it transpires, this wasn't actually as great a thing as I thought it would be, because after my very brief feeling of elation and freedom, I remembered why I needed him in the first place. The whole path swirled around and then the dirt track that I could have sworn seconds earlier had been planted firmly under my feet was suddenly rather close to my head. _

"_Shit, Angel."  
A hand grabbed me right before I sustained a sizeable head injury. It was aggravating, because if he continued helping me like this then I would find it harder to stay angry and keep my mouth shut.  
He was holding me up, but there was no mischief in his face anymore, just concern, and that completely knocked me for six.  
"Maybe you should sit down for a bit, Angel."  
He pushed me down onto the floor into a sitting position, but I lolled back unintentionally. Deciding to make it look deliberate I remained lying like that for a while until a vital thought that I was foolish to overlook until that point swam through my mind amid all the rubbish in there, and I gasped._

"_My dress'll get all dirty!" I complained, my eyes widening comically in dismay._

"_Let it" shrugged Fred, "better than it being covered in your blood, Angel" _

"_NO, NO, NO. You don't UNDERSTAND" I was waving my arms about in over-exaggerated movements "This is Aloosh....lesh....lish....Alicia's! This is Alicia's. And stop doing that!"_

"_I'll explain it to Alicia alright. She'll understand. You were out with my charming self at night after a party somehow you ended up lying on your back. Trust me, it happens Angel. And stop doing what?"_

"_THAT! Just stop."_

"_Making dirty jokes?"_

"_Calling me 'angel'?" _

_His eyebrows shot up in surprise.  
"You don't like it?" he asked. _

"_No. I love it, Fred. That's why you've got to STOP. Shush."_

_He lay down next to me and propped himself up on one elbow to stare me in the eye, looking confused.  
"Well..." I continued. _

_NO! _

_STOP TALKING_

"_I like it. I like it a lot. Actually, Fred, I like everything about you a lot-"  
_

_STOP IT.  
STOP IT NOW, YOU STUPID, STUPID GIRL.  
I MEAN IT, RIGHT NOW.  
JUST. STOP. TALKING._

"_-But you don't like me a lot so liking you a lot makes me not like liking you a lot. And I have to see you all the time and you can't know so I don't say even though I want to. I just want to... I just...I just want..."_

_I trailed off not knowing what words to say next._

_Fred was leaning in to me.  
"Just want what?"  
I wasn't paying attention to anything apart from his lips.  
My dress, well Alicia's dress, was filthy.  
The freezing wind was blowing and I was aware that I'd soon have icicles for hair.  
It was about 1am and I had double potions, transfiguration and DADA that day-the three most formidable and austere professors.  
But all I was focusing on was his beautiful mouth.  
"I just want...just want to do...do this"_

Hesitantly placing both my hands on his shoulder, I pulled myself closer to him and then ran one finger down the side of his cheek before cupping his face and moving in for a kiss. It was a little while before he responded and started kissing me back. I was thrilled. It felt like that was what I should be doing all the time.  
"Ah, Ang" he said, pulling away and instinctively I knew I didn't want to hear his next words "I don't think we should be doing this, Angel-"

_I should have let it drop. I so should have let it drop. No need to get worked up, Angie, no need at all. _

"_Oh! So it's all very well to make jokes and rub up against me, but God knows I only come second to that slag Natalie" I yelled angrily.  
"Angel." He said, shaking her head " It's not like that, you're drunk. I mean, c'mon, neither of us wants to risk our friendship for a drunken mistake."_

_I choked on a sob. _

"_Look, Angel. You know you're my bestest most favouritist person in the world." He grinned cheekily "You're sweet" he stroked my hair "and you're smart" and rubbed my cheek "and you're so tempting that a very large part of my brain is telling me to shut up" he joked with a wink "but I can't forget that I'm going out with Natalie. I like her and she likes me. This" -he said gesturing between the two of us –"is all just due to the fact that you drank your body weight in firewhisky."_

_He's right Angie. He's totally right. Just nod and let him walk you back up to the castle. Whatever you do __don't say what you're thinking._

"_The thing is though, Fred Weasley" I mumbled as my eye-lids starting getting increasingly heavier with every blink "I don't think it is. You think it's because I'm effing hammered. Well I think I bloody love you."_

_And then I blacked out.  
-x-_


	2. Morning After

**Morning After**

_  
_"Ow."  
That was my very first conscious thought.  
Swiftly followed by "Buggering buggering buggeration."  
This one was directed at the totally unnecessary amount of sunlight streaming in through the gap in the curtains, which at least my dorm mates had been kind enough to leave shut.

Groaning, I gingerly sat upright and waited to see if I was about to hurl.

All clear, just a pounding headache and aching limbs. Lucky me.  
Squinting mostly, I surveyed the room to look for anything that could slightly indicate what had happened the night before. I had a feeling that I was forgetting something desperately important.

I looked down at myself and saw, to my surprise, that I was wearing a very short, sleeveless black dress. Oh, that's right, the party. Not that I could remember much of it except that some girl had worn the same dress as Alicia and Alicia had not been best pleased.  
Shrugging, and deciding I would piece together the events of last night _after_ I'd fuelled myself with a few cups of coffee, I shuffled my way across to the bathroom and turned on the shower.

Ouch.  
Too much noise. Way, way, way too loud. But I had to wash away the wretched stench of alcohol. Afterwards I gracefully fell out of the shower via slipping over on the wet floor and was thanked with the unholy crash of my shampoo bottle being knocked off the side of the bath. The noise set me off and I cringed, whimpered and groaned, before moving silently out of the bathroom, taking extra care to perform only the minimal movements necessary.

I longed for some form of hangover cure, and vowed never again to abide by school rules (anti-hangover potions were strictly prohibited in Hogwarts. Although, in fairness, sneaking out of the premises to go to a 'mad rave' was also somewhat frowned upon.) However I knew of one beacon of hope shining proudly through the veil of headache and hazy-memories: I was certain that people like the Weasley Twins -what with the firewhisky they somehow snuck in on a day-to-day basis- would have a cure. _Thank god for the Weasley twins._

Weasley.

Why did that name sound really important? What was I not remembering?

Once I had successfully managed to dress myself with all the correct clothing on the correct parts of my anatomy, I began thinking about the coffee waiting for me in the hall with great anticipation, but because I was relatively sure that the smell of food would, in my condition, make me sick and the noise of the owls arriving would be unbearable, I regretfully conceded that I would have to find the Weasleys first.

There it was again. I thought that name and I felt like I was missing something. How peculiar.

Sluggishly, I made my slow way down the stairs ensuring each time my foot fell exactly in the middle of each step and sighing, I entered the common room, wincing immediately at all the chattering students.

Alicia was slumped down over the table, her arms wrapped securely over her head. She only looked up once I'd pulled the opposite chair out and sat down.  
"Ouch" she smiled commiseratively "you look about as bad as I feel."

-

A moronic third year brat with a face like a troll then came rushing over, chasing a firework that was heading directly for us. Not noticing the two crotchety 6th Years eyeing him warily, the _buffoon_ then jumped and caught the damn fizzing thing in his outstretched arms as he collided loudly with the table Alicia and I were resting our heads on.

"Times ticking away" yelled his friend gleefully from the other side of the room.

Aghast, Alicia and I realised what that ticking firecracker was, and just what was going to happen, at exactly the same millisecond but we were each as powerless as the other to do anything in response.  
**KABOOM!!!**

The friend started laughing hysterically and the boy near us took a moment to unfreeze from shock and then joined in.  
Alicia and I found it somewhat less amusing and growled. Loudly.

"What's wrong with you two?" he sniggered, unapologetically. Ugh. Imbecile.  
I was about to tell him that it was none of his damned business when Alicia beat me to it.

"Well" she said ruefully, looking up at him "We're just feeling a bit guilty. See, there was this third year that kept making noise when we really wanted some peace and quiet. _So we killed him and fed his entrails to rabid dogs. _Do YOU think that was unwarranted_?"  
_Understandably, the boy scarpered.

I chuckled.  
"Nice."  
Alicia waved it off. "Eh. I have a way with kids."

The blissful silence that followed continued for quite a while as neither of us wanted to be the person to break it.

...

...

...

...

"HEY, HEY GUYS!!!!"  
Damn you Katie, with your stupid chipper attitude. Damn you.

She took one look at mine and Alicia's pitiful half-hearted glares and burst into shrill giggles.  
"Oh, wow. Ha-ha! You look _goooooood_. Was it the drink or did I miss some crazy voodoo shit and now you're all, like, undead? Nosferatu? Should I fetch my stake? Hahaha"

Alicia's jaw clenched.  
"Hey Katie, you know what it means when you have to laugh at your own jokes? That everybody else isn't laughing. You know what it means when nobody else is laughing? That it wasn't funny."

Katie stuck out her tongue.  
"Nobody laughed at what you just said."  
"Ah, but I wasn't making a joke. Just an observation."  
"But with humoristic undertones."  
"On the contrary-"

"Geesh ladies!" interrupted another, more masculine, voice that lilted slightly with the relentless flirtation that contaminated every word he said. "For two hung-over chicks you use a load of bloody big words."

"Now, Lee," Katie smiled coquettishly "I didn't drink. I'm perfectly fine this morning."

"S'not our fault you're not as fun, Kate" I grumbled into my hand.

Lee snorted at the sight of me.  
"Hey, Angelina. Looking pretty tempting this morning, ha-ha."  
I thought my one-fingered response was pretty adequate. Alicia seemed to agree.

"Hey, where'd you go, Angie?" Lee asked suddenly, but I only half heard and didn't quite process it, since my eyes were transfixed on how Lee's hand happened to be casually resting on Katie's slim waist.

"Oh, yeah!" Alicia piped up. "I was looking for you at the party, coz that tramp that wore the same dress as me had gotten all her mates to give me evil-eyes, and I needed recruits! Katie was off snogging Lee, though-"  
Whoa, wait. Seriously? I looked at the pair for confirmation. Yep, Katie was turning red as cherry and Lee was grinning stupidly. They definitely hooked up.  
"-and so I was trying to find you and you were nowhere to be seen! Left me to face down that slag by myself! Can't _believe_ she wore the same dress."

"It looked better on you" Katie said with the sincerity and swiftness only a best friend can give.  
"Yeah, it did Leesh" I agreed. Silently adding, 'I think. Considering I can barely remember last night.'

Alicia looked slightly mollified.

"And to answer your questions" I chuckled self-consciously, rubbing my ear "I can't remember. I don't even know how I got here, or who I was with"  
"Hahahahahaha" Lee burst out laughing "hahaha, classic."

Katie through her arms around my shoulders.  
"Don't worry, you were fully clothed when Leanne and I pulled you upstairs from where you lying on the Common Room sofa. I don't think anything, y'know, _happened_."  
"The common room?" Alicia queried, and when Katie nodded continued "well then. Must have been a Gryffindor with you...or McGonagall found you pissed and dragged you up here..."  
I shuddered at the terrifying thought.  
"Fred disappeared as well" Lee threw in, carelessly "but I figured he was with Natalie. Maybe he brought you up here, Angelina? Angelina?"

Naturally, I didn't hear him. I was oblivious to the world. You-Know-Who could have come in doing the fox trot with Trelawney and I wouldn't have batted an eye-lid. I had something much more pressing dancing through my brain.

Fred.

Fred Weasley.  
...

_-x-  
"No. I love it, Fred. That's why you've got to STOP. Shush."_

_He lay down next to me and propped himself up on one elbow to see me, looking confused.  
"Well..." I continued. _

_NO! _

_STOP TALKING_

"_I like it. I like it a lot. Actually, Fred, I like everything about you a lot-"  
– x -_

_  
_Oh God.  
Oh dear sweet mother of God.  
Please say I didn't. PLEASE say I didn't.  
But of course I did. I could remember it vividly.

The drink.  
The stumbles up the hill.  
The falling into Fred.  
The kiss. Oh my god, the kiss.

Please say I didn't say it. Oh God.

-x-  
_"The thing is though, Fred Weasley" I mumbled as my eye-lids starting getting increasingly heavier with every blink "I don't think it is. You think it's because I'm effing hammered. Well I think I bloody love you."  
-x-_

"Holy Sugarplum Fairies." I murmured in horror, to the bewilderment of Lee, Katie and Alicia.


	3. Mission 1

_(thank you to all my reviewers. Your patience is much appreciated. I would like to take this time to promote the fanfic That Famous Weasley Charm by _LiLMiSSHERMY. It's what inspired me. And it's awesome!!!)

_**Mission 1: Evade all questions put forward by nosy friends. Note: Be especially wary of the short blonde one and the skinny tanned one.**_

_**Location: House common room**_

Tactics: 

_**Change conversation with inquisitive friends to THEIR guy problems. **_

_**Fake interest effectively as they will get angry if they discover you are pretending that you aren't bored.**_

_**Get rid of cursed hangover**_

_**Be prepared to run at any and all sightings of 'Evasion-Priority-No.1'**_

Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Life is over. Forever.

"Hey look" Shouted Lee, pointing over to the staircase "there he is now. We can ask him"

I caught a glimpse of two sets of messy red hair.

HOLY MOTHER OF....

"Angie, Angelina, where are you going? ANG???"

Katie's cry was mostly engulfed by the clatter of the common room, so thankfully Fred hadn't registered what was happening until I was hurtling past him with considerable speed up the staircase. It was only after I had clambered up to my room, slammed the door shut behind me and, for some illogical reason, _barricaded it with my trunk_ that I remembered just how hung-over I was. Fortunately I managed to make it to the toilet before vomiting, as I really didn't have the wits about me to perform a cleaning charm. Or at least perform one without simultaneously setting the carpet, bed and in all likeliness my hair aflame.

Collapsing once again on my bed, I groaned into my hands.  
I hate my life. I really and truly do.

All too soon (as in, before I could devise a rational explanation) Alicia and Katie were marching up the stairs.

My head was still hidden in my hands, but that didn't mean I couldn't hear all the mayhem ensuing on the other side of the door.

"Ang?" came Katie's uncertain voice "Are you ok? Are y-hey, the door won't open. I...ALICIA! LEESH"

"Ouch" I could hear the wince in Alicia's response "I'm right here, you twit."

"Ow! Hey! Leesh, did you just kick me?"

" Yes"

"You...you kicked me."

"...Yes..."

"Well 'Sorry. It won't happen again' might be nice"

"Well it won't happen again, as long as you don't shout in my ear again when I'm hung-over, you steaming-great-Nelly"

"huh?"

"My Dad says it"

"Whatever. The door...it's like...barricaded"

I snorted. No Katie. It's not 'like barricaded', it IS barricaded. By my hefty trunk actually. So, like, stop saying like.

"Or charmed shut?" Alicia offered.  
Psh. Right, because hung-over at 8am I am totally capable of _that._

"Angelina?"  
"Angelina?"  
"Angelina?!"  
"Angelina!"

I could ignore them.

I would ignore them.

"**ANG**!"

"Ugh" I mumbled as I trudged over to the door, yanked the trunk out of the way, and tiredly pulled open the door.  
"Oh, hey, it's you" I said by way of greeting.  
The incredulous looks I received suggested they weren't impressed.

Katie, looking a little scared, eyed my trunk warily and then picked it up and shoved it under one of the beds. She then plopped herself, uninvited, down on my bed and curled up into a ball, still staring at me like I'd gone mad.

"Cut the crap" Alicia growled as she pushed past "I have just one question. Do I need to floo Mungo's or is this insanity only temporary?"

Having already issued a one-fingered reply to Lee not 20 minutes previously, and dead opposed to the idea of unoriginally repeating myself, I thought my two-fingered answer was pretty innovative.

"Yeah, seriously, Ang" Katie was peering at me, concerned "you like, totally took off. It was weird. _...Are you PMSing_?"

Leaping on the chance, I nodded emphatically.  
"Yeah" I inserted as much emotion as I could into the lie "...it's horrible. I sometimes get a little... bizarre when it's my time. So I started feeling sick but obviously I couldn't tell Lee..."

Katie patted my leg comfortingly.  
"I know, once a month I turn into this like, crazy monster" she said, understandingly.

Alicia snorted.  
"You sound like a werewolf, Kate" she smirked, using the nickname Katie loathed "and besides no-one cares, Katie. Really, _like totally_ no-one".

Wow. She really gets grouchy when she gets hung-over.

"Wow, you really get grouchy when you're hung-over" Katie frowned.

Wow. That was amazingly cool and frightening all at the same time.

"You're not PMSing Ang" Alicia continued completely ignoring Katie. "I know your cycle like the back of my hand."

"There's just something not right with that" I told her cringing into my hand and then, internally, I sighed deeply. They were going to make me explain, weren't they?

"Right" said Katie, folding her arms "explain."

Again, spooky.

I could have come out clean, but the embarrassment I would be subjected to (and more importantly the girlish shrieks that would ring around my head painfully) seemed like too high a price to pay, so I did some quick thinking.

"Ok. I'm not, er, you know. But still, I guess the alcohol, well, it made me, and I felt like I was about to vomit so-"

My jumbled sentence just fell to pieces half-way through. Thinking on my feet is just not my speciality. They were both pulling faces, as my excuse had many flaws. Like how I had the time to run all the way upstairs to my dorm, barricade the door and get to the bathroom. And exactly why I felt the need to barricade the door in the first place.

So I did what I do best; just like in Quidditch when I'm in possession, I stubbornly dodged their attacks.

"Well that doesn't make any sense" vs. "Sure it does"

"Um....actually, it doesn't" vs. "you're crazy"

I zoomed up the metaphorical pitch and intercepted "I'm not crazy" with an "I don't know, you hooked up with Lee. That's kind of crazy" and expertly passed to Alicia with a flawless "right Leesh?"

Leesh picked up the ball and flew to the hoops.  
"Yeah, Katie, how did that even happen? I didn't know you liked him."

Katie grinned.  
"...Well..."

The quaffle soars across the pitch into the hoops. Conversation has been changed.

GOAL!!!!!!!

Angelina wins the match!

-x-

_(25 minutes later)_

Oh dear sweet Merlin I should have just stayed in the common room and confronted Him. I should have run out of the common room to someplace nice, like Snape's personal office or the inner circle of hell. Anything but this.

"And Lee just goes to me 'So how 'bout it' and I was thinking 'wow, talk about unromantic' but I also, like, really really wanted him to kiss me, so I just-"

My God. It's an unstoppable torrent of lava exploding from the deadly volcano; Mount Bimbo.

...

Alicia is looking pretty happy though. No not happy, blissfully oblivious to the world, which is odd because I thought she would have been locked in Azkaban by now for murdering Katie in cold blood?

...

Ouch.  
Katie sneezed. And she didn't just sneeze, she squeaked like a chipmunk on helium and made Alicia jolt out of her weird little daze.

I stared at Leesh, eyebrows raised.

"Her story was working like a sedative" Alicia smiled dreamily "my whole head just went delightfully numb." She frowned and sat up straighter. "You and your bloody flu. Why didn't you wrap up more in the cold, you scantily-clad dolt?"

Katie crossed her arms across her chest angrily.

"Me? Alicia, Me? Honestly, you've been harping on about that girl wearing the same clothes as you, but together you were both only wearing enough fabric for half of one non-hooker dress in the first place!"

Alicia's lip curled back menacingly.

"Well" I said cheerily "this has nothing to do with me, so I think i'm going to head down for breakfast before potions. You coming?"

I deliberately asked them to accompany me so I wouldn't seem rude, but I knew neither of them would agree.  
Alicia, because like me, I'm sure she wouldn't want to eat anything for a long, long, meteor-hitting-earth-and-entire-new-species-building-new-civilisations-and-taking-over-plant time.  
Katie because she'll stubbornly sit and face out Alicia until the cows come home.

"Ok then" I smiled at their hostile silence.

That's one bullet dodged.

I walked out the room feeling pretty damn smug.

"Oh wait. Ang, come back. We were going to ask you-"

No, Katie. No.

NO!

I can't run away again. I'm too ill. Do not get up and follow me. Do not get up and follow me.

That was the bed spring.

Don't do it, girl. I'm warning you...in my head...which I'm relatively certain you can't hear...

The door handles turning and I'm bloody rooted to the spot. Why am I rooted to the spot?

"Oh, careful Katie. I wouldn't get up like that, your skirts so short half of your knickers are hanging out, not that anyone will want to see them."

The handle stopped.

God bless Alicia and her bitchy inability to let any comment slide. I'll buy her something extra shiny next time we're in Hogsmede.

Checking round the corner for any sign of red hair (there was, but it was only Harry's friend Ron) I scampered down the steps and out of the common room.

Unsure of what to do next, I paused trying to formulate a plan in a very muddled and alcohol-affected head. If I went to the hospital wing she'd be sure to quiz me, but she wouldn't tell anyone else. Getting to her without seeing anyone, however, would be a challenge.

Asking McGonagall for a hangover cure to get rid of the headache I acquired from sneaking out to a party at 11pm would be similar to walking into an Auror's office and asking for a plaster to stick over the gaping wound of the man I'd just stabbed.

Finding the antidote in Fred's room was an even more unpleasant idea.

I'd just have to suck it up and head down to Pomfrey's.

No big deal really.

"Georgie-Porgie" yelled a voice around the corner "pudding and pie. Kissed the girl and made them cry."

"out for more, Fred. They were crying out for more" George answered back wisely and he walked into view a moment before his brother and Lee did.

Fortunately that short moment was all I needed and I was sprinting off again before they could say "Hey, was that Ang running away again?"

(Which they did.)  
Apparently I wasn't too ill when the person I'd humiliated myself for eternity to was around. I only stopped running outside Snape's classroom, a full half an hour before lesson started. Panting and squinting through my pounding skull, I leant against the door just as it opened suddenly, causing me to tumble into the greasy bat himself.

"Miss Johnson" he smirked in his oily tones. How is it that his _voice_ sounds as greasy as his hair? "Might I inquire as to your early time and unusually energized state? Not running away from trouble, are you?" he asked silkily "Or are you just exhilarated at the thought of my lesson?"

Trying to appear impassive to his arrogant sneer, I looked up at him and said in what I had hoped would sound like an honest reply,  
"Er...Sir. I'm going to go with the latter..."

"Really" He didn't sound questioning, he sounded positively scathing.

"Well then, by all means, Miss Johnson, come in and help me prepare the work stations. How, ah, _nice _of you to show such an interest in your studies. "

He held the door open for me. I didn't have a choice but to go in.

"Thank-you sir" I mumbled quietly as I unhappily trudged into his classroom.

I am officially the most pathetic person in the history of Hogwarts.  
It's really not the title I was hoping to earn during my 7 year stay here.


End file.
